In the night I started to worship the Lord and set my playlist on shuffle, asking the Holy Spirit to pick the songs. And during worship I just asked Jesus: ‘why am I running away from You like that Lord? What is wrong with me?’
And I got the impression that it had to do with me and my wife’s engagement in Iran. Today I was thinking that maybe the Lord had us do this, so that she can be mine spiritually, with full consent of her parents and our family members. And I heared the Lord saying:
‘My ways are indeed above your ways, come let us have a talk.‘
So i turned the volume down a bit, grabbed my phone and started writing down. Here I am Jesus, truly, after such a long time.
‘Glad you are here, I was getting worried about you.‘
Lord you know well where I have been.
‘Yes but you come to Me so irregularly, i must be careful not to mistake you for someone else.‘
Yes I admit Lord I have not done great on this manner. I am sorry Lord for letting you down like this. Please forgive me, and give me the grace Lord to come to you ASAP.
‘I will grant you this grace My love, but you have to be consistent in your relationship with Me. You are letting all things come before Me. That is not My intention of our relationship. I want to be first indeed, before everything. You are doing well in putting prayer first. But you are forgetting about Me.’
You are right Lord, like always. I am sorry that I have allowed so much distance to have come between us.
Right now the song ‘Holy Spirit’ was playing by Kari Jobe. I took that one as a confirmation it really was the Lord and His heart. Truly Jesus I am sorry. I am sorry for putting you last indeed, and even later than last. Truly I am an undeserving spouse of Your love, please forgive me. How can I expect You to give me, if I am not even faithful with this much you have given Me. People are dying for this knowledge and I am wasting my time without proper using all the things you have taught me.
During worship I saw Jesus crying, and I knew He was hurt because of rejection. And I said that I have been guilty of the same thing. But now I know it was all due to my neglect of His love.
‘My beloved, I Am the way, the truth, and the life. If you don’t abide in Me, you have no truth, or life. You are dead.’
While He said this, the verse came to mind:
I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. (John 15:5 KJV)
‘So you cannot yield any fruit if you don’t abide in Me. Abide in Me, and your fruit shall be good, lasting, and pleasant to Me. I have created you for Me alone, am I not allowed to enjoy the precious fruits of praise I am growing in you? Are you witholding from Me?’
Yes I have Lord. You are indeed right. I have been distant. I don’t even know why, but it seems to be coupled with shame or something.
‘Yes it is indeed shame, why are you ashamed of Me Shahin? Do I not see all? Do I not know all? You still try too hard to be justified in the sight of men. What is it to you, that I have ordained your marriage to be like this? What is it to you that people think you are doing wrong, while you are exactly doing what I told you to? You do not need their approval. You only need My approval. So where does this shame come from? It is coming from your insecurity. Your lack of trust and belief that it is really I who am speaking to you. See, you are doing it again.’
At this point i was doubting again.. Wether it is really Jesus speaking, or my own reasoning, trying to justify my self. Lord I am sorry for doubt again. How can I become more secure Lord in You?
‘You can do so, by trusting on Me. Trusting on My all sufficient grace, all-knowing, omnipresent Spirit. I have put my Spirit in you. Don’t take Him lightly. When I say something, will I not do it? When I promise something, will I refrain from it?’
No Lord You are faithful.
‘It is good for You to visit the father heart school. I’m going to use my vessels to impart to you, an everlasting impression. You just do Me one favor. Please leave your doubt behind.’
I will do my best Lord with Your help. Lord please also deliver me from scrupulosity..
‘I am working on it dear. I just need a scalp, some surgical sutures (for stitches), time and your premission. Which translates to your cooperation.’
Thankyou Jesus, the best Doctor in creation.
‘Now come here You.’
I saw Him in the spirit kissing my forehead, looking in my eyes, and saying: you will do fine alright?
And I saw 31, and afterwards John 3. And these were the verses:
He that cometh from above is above all: he that is of the earth is earthly, and speaketh of the earth: he that cometh from heaven is above all.
And what he hath seen and heard, that he testifieth; and no man receiveth his testimony.
He that hath received his testimony hath set to his seal that God is true.
For he whom God hath sent speaketh the words of God: for God giveth not the Spirit by measure unto him.
The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand.
He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. (John 3:31-36 KJV)
This to me was the confirmation that it was really Jesus speaking to Me. And he said:
‘When you ask of Me, how can I answer if you are not willing to sit down and listen? Make time for Me beloved.’
I will sweet Lord Jesus.
After sleep I started prayer and worship. And spend some time with the Lord. And He said: ‘well done my good and faithful servant. Continue to do so.’
Lord I am far from good and faithful, but by your grace it is possible.
‘Well said beloved. you see, by coming to Me like this every morning you allow Me to equip you for all the works that are to be done. I impart to you sufficient love for your neighbours. I also take away any negative influences you may have had from dreams that were projected on you.’
I sure feel refreshed and filled Jesus thank You.
‘Thank you! I am the one refreshed by your love for Me. You see there is an exchange of love, in which both are encouraged for the day. When you and your wife spend time together, you both are refreshed by each other’s love. It is the same with us. That is why I told you to come to Me early, before everything. This way We both benefit to the fullest. Although I am God, scripture has shown that I love intimacy. I am a God of relationship. I am not the God that sits somewhere far away, enjoying all the good around Him and just watches how the world suffers. That is not My character. Those who have had a revelation of Me know that this is true.
If I were such a distant God, I would not have come to redeem My people. And now that they are redeemed, I long for a relationship with them. I want to talk to them, hold them, speak life in to them. That is My character. You know this, because I have shown it to you. You can relax, it really is Me.’
At this point I was thinking how is it that I can so easily talk to you like that Lord, and others have difficulties hearing You.
‘It is simple My love, you have to become like a child to enter in the kingdom of Heaven. And you are doing just that. You write down what you receive. I don’t allow you to be mislead if you are being honest with Me. But if you grow in pride, arrogancy, criticize your brothers and sisters, then you are in for a corrective lesson. I don’t want you to become proud, which will open doors to your downfall. As long as you remain sharp on your attitude, thought, behavior, and stay repentant, I will shield you from deceiving spirits.
How do you know it is Me? You will feel the peace that surpasses all understanding in your spirit. It is the kind of peace that, perhaps, won’t make any sense. But when the words you receive contain anything that makes you feel proud, puffed up, better than your brothers and sisters, feeling greedy, feeling judgemental, condemning, then be sure there is something wrong. I will also put a check in your spirit. Something like: hey… something’s not right. But it will be a very gentle exclamation mark, so be attentive to it.’
At this point I was thinking on teaching this to the other people in Church, but I had also a feeling it would make me way too proud by doing so. As if I was doing this to draw and receive honor from men. Lord are my doubts true?
‘Yes you are right beloved. I want My people to be able to hear Me clearly. But you have to be careful that you don’t do things with the wrong motives. Wait for Me, the moment I call you to teach on it. Don’t impose or arrange anything yourself. Let Me arrange it.’
Yes Lord will do so. But how about facebook, twitter and the like? I keep thinking they would benefit the things You are sharing. But I want it to be lead by You Lord.
‘You have done well not to jump on every upportunity to ‘expand’ your ministry. You may make the facebook page. But leave the user acquisition to Me, just like you have let it up to Me for the website. I will use it to bring lasting fruit. What is it to you if I will use it only for 1 soul? Or 100? Just follow Me dear.’
I will do Lord. At that point I had Matthew 16:33 appear in my sight. But that one was not there. So I went to the bible promises book. Prayerfully I opened to ‘Loving God’
I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. (Proverbs 8:17 KJV)
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. (John 14:21 KJV)
Thankyou Jesus for this Beautiful time.